My Husband Is On Strike

Yes, my husband is a NYC Transit Worker. It's the worst time of year for many people, and for us as well.


You see, he doesn't have a choice. He must do what the Union says. Do we like it? No.

I don't think they should have gone out. Even the national Transit Workers Union doesn't think they should have gone out. But here we are.

Something people should think about that they often do not understand.

Bus drivers put their licenses on the line every day. They perform the functions of many people. They must collect fares, "police" the buses, deal with taxis that cut them off, bicycle messengers, pedestrians that walk out in front of buses. They must drive buses on surface roads in all sorts of weather. For driving the "articulated" buses - the ones that are essentially two buses connected with an accordian - they get a whopping 25 cents an hour more.

They do the job of the subway token booth clerks - collecting the fares.

They do the job of the conductors - "policing" the trains.

They do the job of the motormen - driving the bus.

And yet they are paid less than some of these people.

Subways operate on a track. They do not have to deal with the obstacles bus drivers deal with.

So I've felt for a long time that the Union hasn't done right by the bus drivers.

But here I am - we have a mortgage. I am in the middle of starting a business, so money is tight. Yeah, this is going to hurt.

But we don't have a choice.

The "A" Word

Wondering what that is? One of the hardest things I ever had to hear. My 5 year old son might have Autism.

I had a feeling last spring. My son talked late, but so had my other two children. My oldest daughter progressed just fine after three years old, and my middle child stuttered for a while but overcame it.

At my son's IEP meeting, I already knew he was still a quiet child and not enunciating properly or communicating. A lot of it I'd written off to being the youngest child and the boy. Sometimes it had seemed as if he were treated like a "crown prince". We gave in too much when he pointed at something and prompted too much, asking him "do you want this" - at least, that was my reasoning.

But something nagged at me about that IEP meeting last spring. He'd been in a program for two years. Just something they said made me think they were leading me in that direction. I couldn't put my finger on it. And I didn't say anything to anyone.

So we moved. A move is upsetting for anyone but my son is displaced. He doesn't have his own room back yet and probably won't until February. The week before we moved, I'd noticed him playing with his ears. My first reaction was an ear infection and I ran him to the pediatrician. His ears were fine. Yet, the "ear flapping" has continued. I was hoping it would disappear once his life was more settled.

But there were other behaviors. He's always been very musical. I attributed his jumping and dancing to that. Sometimes he'd be hard to reach. However, he's a bit of a clown and sometimes he does that on purpose. I can see him grinning from ear-to-ear as he's ignoring me completely.

Two weeks ago I confessed to my business partner that I thought they were going to talk to me about autism at the IEP meeting for his new school. He's been a rock and told me to cross that bridge when I came to it. However, my feelings were confirmed.

I'm not rushing to a diagnosis. If he is, my son is on a high level. He talks on about a 2-3 year old level (he's 5) but he does talk. He's smart - knows all his letters and numbers. I want to see what happens when he is settled more in his own room with his toys, bringing a bit more familiarity back to his life. The school has no problem with that - it's hard on them though to know what to do with him as he's hard to pin down where he falls. We'll be having another meeting in about two months.

I come home from the meeting, and the first thing my business partner does is come and ask me how it went. I told him and he stepped right up and said he'd be there to help me, whatever I needed. :-) Later on, my husband asks if they "figured out" what was wrong with our son. I said "maybe" and he didn't pursue it any further. That's what's been the norm between us. I let it go as there were others around. Later on I told him they think our son my have autism. His reaction was to make it about him - how he had "defective" children (yes, that's the word he used). I really don't care if he decides to leave me because his ego can't handle it - that all might be better for the kids anyway. However, I think he'll do what he always does and just live in denial, not talk about it, and let me deal with it.

Speaking of denial, my mother, the "queen of denial" starts telling me about how so many other people had problems and look at them - "Einstein didn't talk until he was seven - Einstein!" She goes on to list other "famous people" who she thinks I should be excited about as if somehow that negates all that might be wrong with my son. When I had finally had enough and told her "this really isn't helping Mom" she went off in a huff and went to her room and sulked. Again, all about them - I "hurt her feelings". Well sorry, but what you were saying wasn't going to make me feel any better and I really didn't want to hear it. Sorry that I disappoint you by not embracing your ramblings seeded in denial that there's a problem and can very well mean there will be problems in the future.

I feel so alone. I think if I were still in New York I would have just thrown myself off of something or driven into a tree. Maybe not, I wouldn't do that to my kids because if they didn't have me it's getting more and more obvious they'd be totally screwed. Not that I'm a "perfect parent" but at least I feel I advocate for them and put their needs at the forefront instead of my own needs and feelings.

Yet, there's no one watching out for me, except my business partner. I am so thankful I am here and have him.

Who Do They Blame This Time????

Lost my father-in-law last week. Didn't hear until Friday. They live in Florida and with the hurricane service was spotty. Combination of lung-cancer and the crappy response to this hurricane. I think he just gave up. For the second time their condo needs to be completely gutted - they were just finishing up on it after losing the roof in Frances last year and I guess it wasn't quite finished so the damage was worse this time around. He didn't seem to have the strength for that fight again.

But as usual, the Rethugs don't care unless it's happening to their family... and then somehow it's the fault of the liberal media....

The fallout from Katrina was all the fault of the (Democratic) governor of Louisiana and the (Democratic) mayor of New ORleans - couldn't be because of inherit incompetence in FEMA. What's the excuse now?

When Their Back is to the Wall

I guess I should have expected this time was going to come. I've finally lost someone I once considered a friend over politics.

I have plenty of friends I disagree with politically. We have a lot of fun sometimes, arguing in circles and we laugh a lot afterward. We never get personal, never call each other names. We have respect for each other.
But as Shrubya's poll numbers decline and the Administration shows it's true incompetence in various ways (Karl Rove, Katrina and the fallout, etc.) some people can't argue the facts anymore. When faced with facts they cannot refute, they resort to calling people names and insulting them. This is when I stop being friends with them. If you don't have respect for someone on that level to respectfully disagree with them, I don't want any part of you.

On another forum, I posted a story from a Baton Rouge paper under the headline "Remember the Picture of the Submerged Buses?" After Katrina, every news outlet and right-wing parrot was asking why the governor and/or mayor didn't use those buses to get people out (never mind that those buses had to be driven by people who had families that probably needed to be evacuated too - the exact situation we saw in Houston where people stopped coming to work at the airport, but I digress). The article clearly stated that FEMA told the Governor and Mayor they had to approve the buses used for evacuation.
Suddenly I am being called a liar and twisting things - that one had nothing to do with the other. There is no way the person doing this didn't know what people had been saying about that initial picture. In fact, I'd lay money he was someone saying the same thing. Temporary amnesia seems to take over when the facts disagree with the way they want to believe things have happened. He can't argue the point, so he resorts to name-calling in a public forum.

I had a source - which I reprinted part of and linked to the rest that stated the situation. Yet I was called a liar;

I can't understand what is going on in this country when seemingly intelligent people have to follow someone in their political party so blindly they can't accept or level any criticism. I sure don't do that with the Democrats - I get frustrated and disagree at times. My one close friend who voted for Shrubya even expressed some reservations about how he handled the aftermath of the hurricane - but he lived through a few natural disasters and knows what to expect. Is that what it comes down to? You have to have some personal experience to refer to - the suffering of others no longer matters?

I suppose I should take some comfort that those who have a blind, Nazi-like allegiance to Shrubya are starting to feel the heat - it means his incompetence is finally being called on the carpet and they can’t argue the facts because the facts prove them wrong. But I find it sad that otherwise intelligent people can’t see that the Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.

Someone I Know Almost Died

I've spent the last week worrying about someone who is probably my best friend in the world right now. He's a sweetheart of a guy who came within about 48 hours of dying.

A week ago he thought he had food poisoning or a virus. It turned out to be a blocked bile duct both to the pancreas and the gall bladder. The doctor told him straight out it's from his years of smoking and if he didn't quit he was within 12-13 years of dying from this. It was a real wake-up call. He doesn't blame the cigarette companies and neither do I. It's a personal choice he made.

However, what sucks is the health insurance - or lack thereof - in this country. He's self-employed and works damn hard but can't afford a policy for his family. I can't imagine what his bills will come to. He spent five nights in the hospital, had two "procedures" done, and one ambulance ride. The Cipro for his infection cost $60. It almost certainly means he will be declaring bankruptcy and seeing how the chips fall for keeping his equipment for his business.

But people continue to bury their heads in the sand - if they are all right and have health insurance, why should they care about anyone else? I am fast growing tired of trying to make the point to them that it could be anyone - their neighbors, their relatives, their children one day. They just don't seem to care anymore unless it affects them directly.

When did this happen to us as Americans? When did we become so terribly selfish? What can we do to change it?

I don't have the answers, but I despair for my country when I seriously think about it.

I've been alternating between relief, rage, and guilt as of late. We survived Katrina v 1.0 while on vacation in Southern Florida. For a while it looked like we were in the direct path of the storm then it jogged a bit to the south. While it was relief for me and my family (not to mention my in-laws who's condo last the roof LAST YEAR in Frances and it's finally being fixed NOW) short of the storm turning around and heading out to sea, it meant suffering for some. I couldn't rejoice in my own good fortune while others didn't fare as well.

It was compounded more after she came asher in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. The horrors there are perhaps the worst things I've ever seen in my life. I was worried for quite some time about my friend's family - he grew up in that area and has a huge family. He alone has 11 siblings and his family has cousins, uncles, aunts, etc. all over the place. When I emailed him right after Katrina, he was glued to the television watching for anything that looked familiar.

And then... nothing. For days, it seemed like nothing. Someone dropped the ball, and whatever happened to "the buck stops here". President Excuse is busy rehashing the great times he had drinking along the Gulf Coast and promising to bring it back to something better than it was before. Sounds a lot like Nero fiddling while Rome burned. People are suffocating in their attics because they have no way out and he laments the loss of a great place to kick back with his buddies? Is this man remotely living in the real world?

And of course his die-hard supporters went to work right away, blaming the whole thing on the black people who were looting. I would challenge any of them to go without water for three or four days - watch their children or parents dying in front of them - watch their skin erupt in open sores from the toxicity of the water - and hear nothing from our government. What would they do? Sit around singing Kum Ba Ya?

There is never an excuse for murder or rape, but the looting... But heck, if I was there with my kids I would be doing whatever it took to survive. I've heard people calling them animals. Would they do that if the color of their skin was different? Probably not. The die-hard Bush supporters are in full-swing, demonizing people who are probably in a panic mode just to survive. One chastizes the Mayor of New Orleans for not calling for calm - see, it's all his fault. It's not that Bush was on vacation and couldn't be bothered... it's not that the federal government dropped the ball. It's that the mayor of the city didn't go on TELEVISION or RADIO and call for calm.

Want to take a survey of how many of these people have televisions or radios? If you could find ten working in all of the flooded areas I'd be amazed. There's also the problem of ELECTRICITY to POWER THEM!!!

The goverment saw a panicked country almost four years ago now on 9/11. What plans were put in place? I listened over and over again to how Bush was making us safer. From what? What will happen now in any metropolitan area following a disaster of this sort? Man-made or natural, it's quite obvious there are no plans in place for anything - not for getting relief supplies to the inner cities or people cut off from getting to outside resources on their own. There are no decent plans for evacuation of our cities in the event of a disaster - what about dirty bombs in the middle of downtown? How will they evacuate the surrounding areas?

Oh, and the re-building contract for New Orleans just went to Halliburton. Halliburton who's "misplaced" over $9 billion in Iraq but our taxpayer dollars just keep getting channeled in their direction.

Then there's the long term outlook economically in this country.

Where's the call from our illustrious President to his buddies over at Exxon, Shell, BP, etc. that in the wake of the disaster they have to dip into the record profits they've made since he's been in office and help the country out? I know some tourist towns who will be hurting real quick if gas prices don't come down by fall foliage season. There goes more jobs....

What happens as the price increase hits the trucking industry? As food and other basic necessities of life become too expensive for families? As people who are working part-time find that it now costs them twice as much to fill up their car?

Is anyone in our government going to do anything?



(For the record, the person who chastized the Mayor of New Orleans - her idea of relief supplies is organizing a Bible drive - even as a Christian myself I roll my eyes to that.)

Does Gum Float on Vulcan?

The Christian 'Wrong"

There's a Fundamentalist writing comments on one of my essays trying to convince me that being gay is a choice. I know, normally not even worth my time. Yet she won't give up - she is so certain she is right. Again and again she wants me to read the Fundie sites which claim to "cure" homosexuality. She talks of being a psychologist/nurse who has seen it happen.

Of course I don't believe her. Too many of my friends who are gay are people I have known for so long and who have experienced so much at the hands of this cruel society we currently have. If they could "choose" to be something different and not suffer or be afraid of the reprisals at work, with regard to housing, traveling, or any one of a number of other subtle ways they've often been told they are somehow "wrong" they would. Who would want to suffer through all of this?

Continually she is telling me I am not reading what she's sending me. Of course I am not. One glance and I know what it says - I have heard it all before. Has she read the writings of Mel White who worked for Jerry Falwell, all the while suffering as a closeted gay man? I doubt it, or she believes he can be cured too. Uh huh.

In any case, while listening to her tell me I am wrong and she is right (typical of the Fundies - there are no opinions, just that they know they are right and the rest of the world is wrong) I finally said that I sure hope a gay child or grandchild didn't come into her life. She didn't like that.

Well, let's see, it's okay for you to say my friends are going to hell based on what you BELIEVE (I don't care how much Fundies say the word KNOW - it's still FAITH and a BELIEF. If they have to call it KNOWING to make themselves feel better, that just shows how weak a foundation that belief really is set on.) but the minute I say that based on your writing I would not want to be your child or grandchild if I were gay, I am somehow disrespecting you.

Why is it so one-sided to them? It's like the whole Doctor Dean controversy. The Neo-Con Republicans have been disrespecting Democrats, Liberals, hell anyone who doesn't follow their line of thinking for the last ten years now. Yet the minute someone fires back at them with the same fire they have been dishing out, suddenly it's a terrible thing.

Here's a newsflash for you DICK (so appropriate is that for him) Cheney: I love Howard Dean. I know plenty of other Democrats and Progressives who are cheering him on. It seems to me that it't the Neo-Cons who are afraid of him. Just as some people are afraid of words that conflict with what they need to "KNOW".

Why People Vote Against Their Interests

For a long time on the various left-wing blogs I've participated in the one general idea that everyone seems to have trouble wrapping their heads around is why people continually vote against their best interests.

I know a woman who's family has had a lot of hard luck. They are Fundamentalists who voted Republican because "the President talks to God..." She is somewhat disabled and should honestly be collecting disability. However, because of the budget cuts in Florida she was denied again and again until she had no more appeals. Her husband's overtime was cut. She tried her own business out of the home on her own time when she was well enough to do it, but it didn't go anywhere

The were forced to give back one vehicle. A second is about to be repossessed. They were turned down to refinance their home.

What is her answer to all this? It's God's will... God has a plan...

So nothing that happens is the fault of anyone in this world. When overtime is cut or people are laid off while CEOs continue to rake in millions of dollars and are given tax breaks on top of it, somehow that's "God's will" or "part of God's plan".

There is no accountability between these people and the leaders they have voted into office. It's sad because there is no reasoning with them. They have been brainwashed by their church leaders to be good little followers of the neo-conservative fascist brigade that is currently running this country, all in the name of God.

As a Christian myself, I find it abhorent and sad.